Both EndsiAsked. iAnswered.
Every hard moment has two ends. Hold yours.
Both Ends is a free, private app where your own circle of three to five people looks after you in a hard moment of any kind. Write your card on a good day. Reach your circle with one tap on a hard one. Or join as a helper and be ready for someone you care about.
For adults 18 and older in the United States. Works on any phone or computer. No ads, no trackers.
Both Ends is not an emergency service. In crisis, call or text 988. In immediate danger, call 911.
Two ends
The person having the moment, and the people who would want to know.
iAsked: your end
On a good day, you write your own card: what a hard moment looks like for you, what helps, and what not to say. On a hard day, you tap once. You do not have to explain anything.
iAnswered: the helper's end
A helper sees the person's own instructions for that kind of moment and says "I've got this one", so the others can stand down. In the weeks after, helpers send a few quiet words that need no reply.
There is no matching with strangers, no forum and no feed. Only people you already know and chose.
How it works
Set it up on a good day. Use it on a hard one.
No account is needed to begin. Both Ends works on one device straight away, with a sample circle that shows asking, answering and follow-up from both sides. Connect your real circle whenever you are ready.
The I'm having a moment button stays switched off until your circle has at least two helpers. Nobody should be anyone's only helper. Three to five is better.
Write "My card"
For each kind of hard moment: what it looks like for you, what helps, what not to say, and who to contact for what. You choose which helpers see each section.
Tap "I'm having a moment"
Choose the kind, and if you like, what would help: a text, a call, someone to come over, or someone to sit with you. Your helpers who are on are asked to reach out. 988 sits beside the button.
One helper says "I've got this one"
You see their name, and the others are told they can stand down. Nobody is guaranteed to see your moment. If nobody has answered after five minutes, Both Ends tells you plainly and shows 988 and other crisis lines.
Check-ins follow, for eight weeks
Helpers are reminded to send a few words the next day, after three days, then after one, two, four, six and eight weeks. Every note ends with "No reply needed."
For helpers
Be someone's person. You may never be called.
You can join Both Ends as a helper with nobody attached. Read five minutes of plain guidance, then hand someone an offer card or link that says "put me in your circle". It only suggests your first name. They decide, and they send the real invitation themselves.
- Listening is the whole job. You are not a counselor, and nobody expects you to be.
- You are never the only one. Every circle has at least two helpers, and each helper is shown they are one of several.
- "I can't right now" needs no reason. Saying so quickly helps more than silence.
- Your own hours. Set off hours, be a backup only, take a day or a week off, or step back with no guilt and no message sent.
- Handing off is helping. If it is more than you can hold, help them reach 988 and stay while they do.
Front doors
One app, with words that fit what you came for.
When you set up Both Ends you choose a front door. It only changes the examples your card starts with, the guidance your helpers see, and which resources are listed first. You can add other kinds of moment at any time.
Panic and anxiety
For when panic or anxiety takes over.
Grief
For the waves that come after a loss.
Urges and recovery
For the moment an urge hits.
Trauma responses
For when the past shows up in the present.
Burnout
For when there is nothing left in the tank.
Caregiving
For the people who look after someone else.
Anything else
For hard moments of any kind, including very low days and feeling very alone.
Dissociation
Living with dissociation or DID? Our sister app, iDID, is made for that, with tools Both Ends does not have. Visit idid.care.
What it is not
Both Ends is not an emergency service.
It is not therapy, and it is not a medical device. It does not diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any medical condition.
- Nobody is watching. No one at Both Ends sees your moments or reads what you write.
- Nobody is guaranteed to answer. A moment depends on phones, connections and people. It can go unseen.
- Helpers are ordinary people. They are friends and family you chose. They are not professionals, and Both Ends does not check or vouch for them.
- It does not replace professional care or a crisis line.
Also inside
Quiet tools for the days around a hard moment
Safety plan and "Check on me"
Write down warning signs, things you can do on your own, and people and places that help, while things are calmer. Check on me is a quieter, non-urgent ask for a call, a text or a visit.
Pause, grounding and Calm space
Slow breathing, box breathing, 5-4-3-2-1 grounding, and a "right now" reminder of the date and time. Calm space is a wordless place of ripples and drifting lights.
Comfort kit
Photos, songs, quotes and letters to yourself. It is always private to you.
A circle only you control
Invite people with a one-time link sent from your own phone. Choose each person's role and what they see. Removing someone is silent, and the circle's encryption key is changed afterwards.
A read-only view for a therapist or care team
If you choose, share a private view of exactly what you tick: your card, the dates and kinds of moments, check-ins, safety plan or appointments. Remove access any time. More for therapists and care teams.
Appointments and quiet hours
Reminders for sessions and groups, with calendar export under a neutral title. Gentle "How are you doing?" check-ins stay private to you and respect your quiet hours.
Find support
Crisis lines, helplines, low-cost care and local groups, matched to your ZIP code and what would help. Save your own support contacts with call, text and map buttons.
Quick hide and comfortable settings
One tap locks Both Ends and shows an ordinary-looking screen. Choose a calm theme, dark or high contrast, larger text, a readable font and calm motion.
Help when you need it
Step-by-step guides inside the app, with search, a quick tour, and a sample circle to explore before you enter anything real. It works offline too.
Private by design
What you write stays between you and your circle.
Everything you write is encrypted on your own device with a passphrase only you know. If you connect your circle online, it is encrypted end-to-end before it leaves your phone, so the people who run Both Ends cannot read it.
One honest limit: encryption covers what you write. Our server can still see which accounts share a circle and when records change. We treat that as health data.
How we protect you- Encrypted on your device with your passphrase, plus a recovery code only you hold.
- End-to-end encrypted circle. Our server stores only scrambled data.
- Notifications are always generic. They never say what happened or who it is about.
- Both Ends never texts anyone. Invitations and offer links are sent from your own phone.
- No location, no "last seen", no read receipts, no scores of any kind.
- No ads, no trackers, no analytics kits, no selling or sharing data.
Questions
Questions people ask
What is Both Ends?
Both Ends is a free, private app where your own circle of three to five people looks after you in a hard moment of any kind: panic, low days, grief, trauma responses, urges to use, urges to hurt yourself, burnout, loneliness or caregiving strain. It has two sides. iAsked is for the person. iAnswered is for the helpers.
Is it an emergency service?
No. Both Ends is not an emergency service, not therapy, and not a medical device. Nobody is watching, and nobody is guaranteed to answer. In crisis, call or text 988, or text HOME to 741741. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911.
What if nobody answers?
That can happen, and Both Ends says so before you ever need it. Backup helpers are asked after three minutes. If nobody has answered after five minutes, Both Ends tells you plainly and shows 988 and other crisis lines. Your circle can still answer after that. If none of your helpers are on, you are told straight away.
Who can see what?
You choose your circle, and what each helper sees. You can hide any section of your card from any helper, and they are not told. A moment carries only its kind and what you asked for. Helpers never see your location, whether you are online, or whether you have read a check-in. The people who run Both Ends cannot read what you write. Our server can see which accounts share a circle and when records change.
Can a helper add themselves?
No. A helper can hand you an offer card or link that says "put me in your circle". It only suggests their first name. They are not in your circle until you add them and send the invitation yourself, from your own phone. Removing someone is silent.
What does it cost?
Nothing. Both Ends is free, with no ads, no trackers and no selling of data. It runs in any modern web browser and can be added to your phone's home screen like an app.
Has it been tested?
Not yet, and we would rather say so. Both Ends is version 0.1.0, an early release that has not been tested with real circles. An app that calls on a known person in the moment has never been tested in a trial, and the closest earlier app, notOK, appears to have closed. The follow-up check-ins are the part with the best evidence: short "caring contacts" sent over time have been studied in trials. Helper guidance has been shown to raise helpers' confidence. It has not been shown to change how things turn out for the person helped.
Is there AI?
No. No AI talks to anyone in Both Ends, and none reads what you write. The examples on your card and the suggested check-in wording are fixed text that comes with the app. You change them into your own words.
Who is it for?
Adults aged 18 and older in the United States, at launch. That means people who want a small circle for their own hard moments, and people who want to be ready for someone they care about. If you live with dissociation or DID, our sister app iDID at idid.care is made for that.
What if I forget my passphrase?
Use the recovery code you saved when you set Both Ends up. Nobody, including us, can reset your passphrase. That is what keeps what you write private.
More in the helper guide, the privacy page, or Help inside the app.
Set it up on a good day.
Both Ends is free. You can look around with a sample circle first, and you can stop at any time.